The balancing act


Everyone needs someone sometimes. 

It may need be today, this moment or tomorrow. It may not be this one or that one or another. It will be one, anyone, someone.

Feeling used differs from useful in that the one being used has a need the other isn’t meeting. Feeling useful underlines reciprocity, not in the act but in mutual need that’s fulfilled at the same time, most times.

Being needed becomes a burden when you’re running on empty. When you’re filled, fueled in all ways necessary, being needed will elicit a sense of gratitude, can give you purpose as well. 

Relationships that last have one thing in common: mutual fulfillment. It is a giving and a taking. The giver has isn’t emptied by the taking for he has enough to give, not be left bereft. The taker has nothing left and is replenished, reenergized by the other. Mutual fulfillment creates balance. Balance brings on continuity.

We sometimes think our needs supersedes that of another or that the other is selfish for focusing only on their needs. What we should consider isn’t how one’s needs take precedence, more so that we can’t effectively create balance within the relationship, with that person, whether friend or blood.

Relationships are fluid, that’s why it matters to have balance.  Too much giving and you feel used. Too much taking and you start taking the other for granted. 

Even in moments of gratitude, we are really saying my needs are met by… It’s a giving and a taking that brings balance. 

A life of gratitude is a result of a balanced life. 

Nothingness!


Into nothingness

“None of us asked to be here, did we? We didn’t choose to come into existence any more than we chose where and when we were born and who our parents were. 

As human beings, we have been given not just existence (a rock has existence), and not just life (an amoeba has life), but life as rational free beings made in the image of God.

But we didn’t choose to come into existence as rational free beings made in the image of God, either. What God does offer us, however, is the choice to remain in existence; that is, to choose to have life, eternal life, in Him, which is what we can have because of Jesus and His death on the cross. “

What an intro to today’s Bible lesson!!! 

To an INTJ, it is orgasmic for it catapulted into the land of inquisition, which we love. Yes we all know we never asked to be here and it is posited to us options: yea or nay. However, the life we must choose is an idea, we haven’t seen it or felt it either. How can we choose and be certain of what we know not when our decision is off what we solely know. What we know, this, the life we live is different. Some are enthused by it and others care not for it. This life hurts. For most of us it is a struggle, we endure to survive. This life is made of hardships, losses, injustices. So we must choose on hope that these will not persist. What of the others then whose life lacks hardships, those who get everything they want, reach the heights they sought, have everything going for them? Do they choose wanting more of the same and will that be what they will get?

Will there be buyer’s remorse at the end of the day? Must we live for the end?  What of now?  

What if our choice is nothingness? Is that an option? To the land of nullity, if that’s the wish, can we get it? 

I don’t wish to be, at all. I don’t want to think or feel, exist, live. Detachment comes close but it’s not the same. I rather go where I started when I knew nothing at all. 

Knowing is the problem. Unknowing is freedom, not detachment.f

Regret and outcomes!



Regret is the inability to live with unexpected consequences of choices made.I bet, if your choice, your decision led to something you wanted or expected, you would have had no regret, none whatsoever.


Regret is for those incapable of living with outcomes that are not positive, that are unexpected. It is contrary to our beliefs, our hopes, our dreams. We use regret as a cover to mask that we are not God, that the world does not yield to us, that we are not the true master of our destiny.


Regret devoids intent of purpose, makes a mockery of wishes, undermines planning and sullies hope. All that we are, what we thought is naught, regret takes hold, veiling our undoing.

PS: I miss reading you. It happens when one falls in love with another’s heart!

Bright skies, city lights!


This is about the boy you’ll never forget

who turned into the man who didn’t come back

This is about hope and faith, leaps, jolts, crevices that morphed into wells suffused with dirt and spider webs

This is about thoughts, about lyrics that merge old with new: words unspoken and wordsmiths

This was a comeback that ushered the fall back as  dawn behest daylight and the dusk, the night lights

Life is over when you have nothing to look forward to. 

What then to wake up to if not the lights of the night?

There are stories there!

Signèe: L’araignèe et le panthére

Thrust!


Everyone 

has a place 

they call home.

A soft place to fall.

A wanderer

yielding the call of the wild, 

strewn about in the wind.

Home: a shadow.

LNB 06/2021

God gives. He takes away. He mostly gives for a little time and takes away forever.